holly heights mailbox

[keepcalmandbomb]

☆ spouse gorilla ☆ kid #1 ☆ kid #2 ☆



mailbox ☆ call ☆ text ☆ spam/etc

Comments

t e x t

[keepcalmandbomb]

(( for: texts, emails, ... ))

t e x t - Just after someone's Jolly Cruise Adventure hit shore...

[booyakabunga]

DEAR KATSUMAMA

IM OK SORRY 4 WORRYING u...
THERE WAS A BOAT AND SOME STUFF HAPPENED. ON AN ISLAND NOW & I THINK THEIR MIGHT B CANNIBALS. pLEASE SEND PIZZA IF POSSIBLE.

ALSO PLEASE GIVE KONDAD A BIG KISS FOR ME TO SAY IM SORRY 4 WORRYING HIM 2. ITs AN IMPORTANT TASC sO IM KOUNTING ON YOU 2 TAKE CARE IF IT FOR ME B/C WE'R TIGHT AND I KNOW I CAN DEPEND ON U


LOVE MIKEY

TEXT

[keepcalmandbomb]

It's Katsura.

It is very relieving to know you are fine for the moment, Michelangelo-kun. We have been worried sick when we discovered you were missing, although it appears the same fate has met others...

If the cannibals bother you, make sure to mention that you are a turtle. If that doesn't help, try to stay close to uncle Gintoki, he will protect you. Most importantly, keep your back straight and your guns ablaze!

Please write again soon.

P.S. I am sending pizza and a set of impact explosives with this letter, I do hope they come in hand.

Signed, Your Loving Mother.

Re: t e x t

[shoubai]

zura?

t e x t

[keepcalmandbomb]

katsura

Re: t e x t

[shoubai]

katsuraki
wanna go out soon??
u owe me 4 going 2 smile w/out me

[keepcalmandbomb]

it's katsura

how soon? i'm packing family's lunch right now. might take a while to peel all those bananas

huh?

Re: t e x t

[pachintoki]

[after this sometime.]

So you're a villain now?

t e x t

[keepcalmandbomb]

I have never been, nor do I intend to be, a 'villain'. You are looking on the wrong side of the barricades.

[pachintoki]

So when I report you to the police, I can claim terrorism and kidnapping plus extortion. Got it.

[keepcalmandbomb]

[ fuck ]

What are you talking about? I know you wouldn't report me, Gintoki.

[ ahahahaha sweating ]

[pachintoki]

[there is no

reply.]

(backdated to the 12th)

[shoudan]

Katsura-san.

[keepcalmandbomb]

Yes. How may I aid you?

[shoudan]

I'm looking for a certain idiot.
Is he with you?

[keepcalmandbomb]

Most people that I come into regular contact with seem to fit that description. Could you perhaps be more specific?

[ not like it's obvious whom could she be looking for or anything ]

[shoudan]

Sakamoto.
He's late for work.

[by about four hours now, and that does not bode well for the continued safety of his family jewels.]

t e x t

[gorillatama]

hey
hey u
u got mad pussy mail, yo

<333333333

t e x t

[keepcalmandbomb]

[ KYYYAAAAAAA ]

Kondo-san, is it not a little early in the day for such alluring lewdness?!

t e x t

[gorillatama]

its never 2 early 2 display ur feelings, zura-san
its good 4 ur blood pressure =u=

hows this
u feelin it mr. krabszura??

t e x t

[keepcalmandbomb]

It's not krabszura, it's Katsura.

That, I - I can see the paw so clearly!

[ he's crying and going wibbly wobbly at this point. SO CUTE ]

[nagyka]

Is everything alright?

[keepcalmandbomb]

[ It's really not hard to guess what this is about, although the very fact she seems to care enough to reach out to him is a little odd. Perhaps she's picked up on more than what he said? ]

Yes, thank you.

[ and as an afterthought; ]

You don't have to be wary of him for now.

[nagyka]

[ She didn't nose into their conversation. Her only impression is from the initial post and what he'd said to her within it. ]

I didn't think so.
I assumed at the most he was just a frustrated superior, but I thought it would be wise to respect your boundaries until I knew for certain.

I recall him being a little more...
Strange.

[ The odd thing was that she liked the other version better, even if he was probably a total dick. Something about a dark, biting sense of humor that she finds enjoyable... ]

[keepcalmandbomb]

[ Then she doesn't know how painful it actually is for him. And that's probably good. ]

That was very considerate of you.

That is one way to put it. When a man loses everything he has to protect, he becomes a beast.

[ It's really both versions that are a dick with a biting sense of humor. The young one is just less crazy and stab-happy. ]