holly heights mailbox

[keepcalmandbomb]

☆ spouse gorilla ☆ kid #1 ☆ kid #2 ☆



mailbox ☆ call ☆ text ☆ spam/etc

Comments

m a i l b o x

[keepcalmandbomb]

(( for: letters, packages, post, cat poop, ... ))

[You've got Mail! And it isn't poop!]

[gorillatama]

[When Zura stops untangling his Bentendo controller from the hell that is crossed cords and checks his mailbox, there's an innocent package waiting for him!

Inside is a CD and this tasty snack
All items clearly have tags from Holly-Mart still attached but its the thought and the message that counts:]

Not lame villain at all! Thank you 4 sharing your conditioner! Happy birthday! You're a real tacky asshole Swaglite Warrior!

from: your hubbyBuddy!

letter and a sticker,

[pasodoble]

Thank you for running with Toro and me before! Please, accept this as a sign of your resolve and courage.

-Spain

( Attached is one gold star. )

package; December 25th

[bauhinia]

[ It's the happiest time of the year! That means presents. Lots of presents. Hong Kong will add a few to the pile in the form of his gifts, delivered to your doorstep!

Inside the festively decorated bag, you'll find a small container of gingerbread men, women, and children. Each is uniquely decorated and adorned with icing, gumdrops, licorice, and the odd jelly bean. Don't ask about the jelly beans. The bag also contains a bottle of wine if you happen to be in an adult slot and a bottle of spiced cider for the kiddos. Also in the bag are several small paper cutouts, made from delicate red paper and intended to be pasted in your window. ]

[ For some reason, some of Katsura's gingerbread people look an awful lot like the landlord.... ]

sitting on yo pillow....

[gorillatama]

[Is a sloppily wrapped package. Zura will open it to reveal this thing of utter beauty. Beneath it is a note:]

To my cute wife,
Thanks for another year of happy and constipated marriage! Things between us may still be a little rocky but I look forward to finding out just how far we'll soar together. So I hope this keeps you warm because baby it's cold outside ;)

Your husband,
Isao

P.S I have a matching one don't worry ;)

2/14

[girlmemo]

[ In his mailbox, he'll find a heart-shaped box of chocolate with a note that says, "Zura, return the favor. - Y" ]

m a i l b o x

[gorillatama]

[When Zura goes to check the mail for recruits resumes and junk mail to burn with glee he's going to be bombarded (HAHA GET IT......) with a waterfall of chocolates. Possibly an actual fondue waterfall.

The note swimming in there somewhere reads as follows:

I'm extremely, HARD PRESSEDLY aware that you aren't a woman, your coconuts can't compare, but you are my wife and you do deserve some appreciation as one of the important people in my life. Thanks for being you, ya weirdo goober. Anyway, here's wonderwall,
Isao

[A little box of macarons]

[onenipple]

[There is a small box with two macarons. He was initially going to give out one each but then gave two to Kondo, and decided his lovely wife deserves two as well. They've both been nothing but awesome to him, after all.]



[A note:] I don't think I really ever properly thanked you for helping me get rid of that chef-ghost thing! So have two of these things. Probably still not enough, but it's something. Oh and I guess as a thank you for being really cool in general.

Yoshitake

delivery, christmas morning

[coldiceflower]

[ So since Kondo got a card, of course Katsura must get one as well.

In specific, it's this beauty, and in the same sense as Kondo's card was nailed to the door with one of 1469's kitchen knives, another of those knives has been used to stab this card to the lid of the mailbox. ]

c a l l

[keepcalmandbomb]

(( for: calls, leaving messages, video chat, voicemail, ... ))

Voicemail

[sanguineheels]

Katsura! I'm sorry I missed you, but if you could call me back when you get this message, I'd appreciate it!

I wanted to say hello, and bring by lunch for you today, if you're free.

Re: c a l l

[shoubai]

[ ring ring ring ring zuraphone ]

t e x t

[keepcalmandbomb]

(( for: texts, emails, ... ))

t e x t - Just after someone's Jolly Cruise Adventure hit shore...

[booyakabunga]

DEAR KATSUMAMA

IM OK SORRY 4 WORRYING u...
THERE WAS A BOAT AND SOME STUFF HAPPENED. ON AN ISLAND NOW & I THINK THEIR MIGHT B CANNIBALS. pLEASE SEND PIZZA IF POSSIBLE.

ALSO PLEASE GIVE KONDAD A BIG KISS FOR ME TO SAY IM SORRY 4 WORRYING HIM 2. ITs AN IMPORTANT TASC sO IM KOUNTING ON YOU 2 TAKE CARE IF IT FOR ME B/C WE'R TIGHT AND I KNOW I CAN DEPEND ON U


LOVE MIKEY

s p a m

[keepcalmandbomb]

(( for: spam, ads, whatever not mentioned above. you may also start your own thread ))

ACTION

[chinagirl]

[KNOCK KNOCK at your front door, Zura.]

ACTION

[keepcalmandbomb]

[ WHO COULD THIS BE? ]

[ guided by his wanted terrorist instincts of self preservation, Katsura heads into the bathroom and discreetly peers out the window. ]

[ it's a good escape route, too ]

[ but it looks like it's not necessary this time, so he shuffles back to the door and opens it widely like the most carefree, open-hearted, law-abiding and welcoming citizen that he is ]

Ah, Leader! Please come in!

[chinagirl]

[ There's a loud bang, followed by a cracking noise, which is then followed by the sound of the front door hitting the floor. Yes, Kagura has kicked her way into the house. And yes, she is sobbing dramatically. ]

Zuraaaaaaa!

ACTION

[keepcalmandbomb]

[ OH NO HE'LL HAVE TO GET A NEW DOOR ]

[ MORE IMPORTANTLY, THERE IS A SAD LITTLE GORI-GIRL IN HIS HALLWAY ]

It's not Zura, it's Katsura!!

[ the frantic reply comes out of the bathroom, because what else can people possibly be doing when someone breaks in, huh? ]

Ah, there are rice dumplings in the fridge! I will be right there!

[ from what he knows about upset children is that food usually helps. his knowledge might be biased. ]

[text] fwd: subject: 1 scary way 2 break up

[gorillatama]

[Even though yeah, they fucking live together, Zura gets this grade A treatment to
in the form of 9 of these in his inbox]

DO NOT stop reading this or something bad will happen!!!!!1!!

one day, sarah was walking home from school when her boyfriend drove by and honked at her to get in. she got in his car and he drove her to the lake. her boyfriend said he was going to tell her something very important.

sarah could have sworn he was going to propose. however he flipped her off pushed her in the lake and yelled, “I am breaking up with you, you awful ********!! I hate you and I think that maybe you should just end your ********* life! DUMB *******!!!”

he laughed and drove off. it was winter. sarah floated there in the water freezing cold and felt the worst she had her entire life. shivering she decided that she didn’t want to ever have her heart ever broken like that again. she slipped under the lake’s surface never to be seen in living flesh again.

her parents cried. her mom went insane and killed herself three days later. her dad is in prison accused of murder.

later that week sarah’s ex-boyfriend was taking a shower when she reached from the drain, rotting and bloody. “7 days.” she whispered and her breath smelled like a pond of dead fish. 7 days later she dragged him down into the drain back to the lake. he slipped into the water never to be seen in living flesh again.

if you do not copy this and forward this to 30 ppl with the title “1 scary way 2 break up” you are a heartless ******.

sarah the pond monster will come to you from drains, and on the 7th day will kill you the same way she’s killed everyone else. the pond monster isn't lonely or anything. it's just that 24 ppl have broken this chain and died.

you have 13 minutes

[ action ]

[keepcalmandbomb]

[ lmao fuck time to spam all of his contacts ]

[ especially gintoki ]

[ not!husband, you are dead to him ]

[Text]

[gorillatama]

katsura i need you to come home as soon as possible.

[That's it. That uncharacteristic message is all Zura's left with for now. Is it unnerving? It should be.

He used proper grammar.]

[action]

[keepcalmandbomb]

[ well, this is ominous. even if he does appreciate proper spelling. ]

[ he'll turn up roughly half an hour later, pulling the door open carefully as if he expects the house to blow up at his touch (it's a possibility, certainly, but not entirely likely without him doing something to achieve it first). ]

[text] this is a message he'll find on the 12th ok like i actually sent this prompty

[gorillatama]

thanks for rolling over and farting to let me know you're alright
thank you for being alright...thank you.
i checked on the boy and he's okay too.
this is a mess...i've failed again, katsura. they keep slipping through my fingers in this place like sand....
im going to do something. i wont rest until justice is served

[keepcalmandbomb]

[ Katsura briefly wonders where the hell is the gorilla sleeping as it's pretty much impossible to roll over when you sleep the way he does, but the suspicion is quickly washed away by the genuine concern that seems to radiate from the text with no capital letters. ]

[ he can only be silently grateful for the promised alliance in his journey for revenge. ]

[voice]

[eyeforaneye]

[ RING RING ]

[voice]

[keepcalmandbomb]

[ he'll let it ring three times before picking up. ]

Hello. It's Katsura.

text;

[extremelycute]

text;

[keepcalmandbomb]

That is not very healthy food in definitely not very healthy amounts! I hope you're not eating all this, Vivienne-chan!

25th

[extremelycute]

[There's no need for more explanation, but it'll show up at Katsura's doorstep. Wrapped with it is a framed autograph of Miu's. She signs Katsura's in pink and adds lot of stickers, though. He's the lucky one.]

[keepcalmandbomb]

[ DAUGHTER!! You sure know how to warm up this foreign holiday. Katsura is going to cry and make a miniatiure Miu statue out of the beads, probably. ]

[ She's going to get a laced pillow that says "Mom" when you press it and a festive envelope with those $200 she asked for the day they met, or something. ]

gift!

[popstar]

[A small gift bag sits in the middle of the dining room table, beside a another similar looking gift bag. Katsura's name is clearly written on a folded card together with the bag. Inside, Katsura will find this:



The attached note is hand-written in a loopy cursive and reads:

I know I haven't been here long but I hope that we all get along while we're stuck here. Here's a treat to celebrate our friendship!

~Rise ♥]

mailbox

[tooryanse]

[ In his mailbox Katsura will find a paper bag with a slightly sqished macaron. It's not like she damaged it on purpose or anything (she did). A short note comes with it. ]

now stfu forever

[extremelycute]

[Miu leaves this macaroon where only Katsura will find it. The next time he goes to watch his hospital drama, it'll be sitting right on top of the TV. She's used frosting to make it look like Elizabeth, and there's a note underneath.]

Elizabeth never loved you. Go die.
-Yozora

[keepcalmandbomb]

[ Here lays Zura, fallen victim to THE UTTER CRUELTY OF HIS OWN DAUGHTER!! Okay, he may not be dead, but he's certainly crying and overreacting as always. Probably screaming "Elizabeth" into the heavens, too. ]